Jack Facts: FAQ | Legends & Quotes | Famous Jacks | JRT book list | How many dogs??? | Dog logic quotes

One dog is no trouble and two are so funny,
The third one is easy, the fourth one's a honey.
The fifth is delightful, the sixth one's a breeze,
You find you can live with a housefly with ease.
So how 'bout another? Would you really dare?
They're really quite easy, but Oh Lord, the hair!
With dogs on the sofa and dogs on the bed,
And crates in the kitchen, it's "no bother" you said.
They're really no trouble, their manners are great,
What's just one more dog and one more little crate?
The sofa is hairy, the windows are crusty,
The floor is all footprints, the furniture's dusty.
The housekeeping suffers, but what do you care?
Who minds a few nose prints and a little more hair?
So let's keep a puppy, you can always find room,
And a little more time for the dust cloth and broom.
There's hardly a limit to the dogs you can add,
The thought of a cutback, sure makes you feel sad.
Each one is special, so useful, so funny,
The food bill grows larger, you owe the vet money.
Your folks never visit, few friends come to stay,
Except other dog folks who live the same way.
Your lawn has now died and your shrubs are dead too,
Your weekends are busy, you're off with your crew.
There's dog food and vitamins, training, and shots,
And entries and travel and motels, which cost lots.
Is it worth it you wonder? Are you caught in a trap?
Then that favorite comes up and climbs in your lap.
His look says you're special and you know that you will,
Keep all the critters in spite of the bill.
Some just for showing, and some just to breed,
And some just for loving, they all fill a need.
The dogs and the dogs shows, the travel, the thrills,
The work and the worry, the pressure, the bills.
The whole thing seems worth it, the dogs are your life,
They're charming and funny and offset the strife.
Your lifestyle has changed, things just won't be the same,
Yes, those dogs are addictive and so's the dog game!
Author Unknown

 Dear Dogs,

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions
with each other so there are still two dogs in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food.  Please note, placing a paw print
in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it
becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing
in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack.  Beating
me to the bottom is not the object.  Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed.  I am very sorry
about this.  Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to
ensure your comfort.  Look at videos of dogs sleeping.  They can
actually curl up in a ball.  It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular
to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.  I also know
that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the
other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.  If by

some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, and try to turn the knob, or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open.  I must exit through the
same door entered.  In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years
and canine attendance is not mandatory.
And finally, the proper order is kiss me, then go smell other dogs'
butts.  I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change
for you guys to make.
Your human

Jack Facts: FAQ | Legends & Quotes | Famous Jacks | JRT book list | How many dogs??? | Dog logic quotes